Today a family member questioned why my 11yo isn't involved in the co-op this year. I tried to be honest. I'm tired and I'm taking a break. I perceived it as not merely being asked a question but as having my actions and choices questioned. I guess I could have said it is none of their business but I was raised in the South and being disrespectful to my elders is very uncomfortable.
Then I was later told that I "didn't want to do anything." I guess that is true if it means I'm trying to cut out unnecessary stress inducing activities. But, it made me feel like the person was saying that I don't do anything. That I don't work. That I'm lazy.
I let it get me down. The more I thought about it the more discouraged I became.
Here's the thing. I spend hours out of every day trying to educate my 11yo. I don't hand her a book and send her off to a desk. I tutor her one-on-one. Hours of my day are spent sitting by this child as she and I work together. I do work.
I let the discouragement get under my skin and it started to convince me that I'm a loser. I started to feel that what I do is less than mediocre.
Put on the brakes!
I have to do what is right for 11yo. I can't let what other people think de-rail us.
We have found a groove this year. We are making progress. If we are consistent we are going to have the best school year ever. We are headed in the right direction.
I accidentally came upon this blog site. It's great. I like the explanation here and think it's wonderful that you are making progress with your daughter. She's lucky to have you. She still has activity days, right, so she gets socializing there. And with her neighbor friends. She seems happy and well adjusted to me. Don't get discouraged. Look at all the good you're doing for her. We love you.
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